Tampilkan postingan dengan label Humor. Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label Humor. Tampilkan semua postingan

Sabtu, 21 Januari 2012

Aye Aye... That's Potentilla arrrrrggguta, Matey!

Potentilla arguta
... at least that's how I picture the conversation between William Dampier and a field assistant upon seeing the species above.  What the heck am I talking about?  You've got to take a look at this blog post on the NPR webpage...

CLICK HERE!

Kamis, 23 Juli 2009

Preltis serotalis

This afternoon in Marshall County, Indiana, Tony and I ran across a new species to both of us... Preltis serotalis! Check it out...


I've seen two members of the same species fuse together like this before, and even trees grow around vines... but I'd never seen two different tree species fuse into a single trunk. Pretty cool.

Sabtu, 18 Juli 2009

Carex 3000

This interesting Carex was found at a gas station in Marshfield Missouri.


Here is a habitat photo:

I feel a string on one-liners is appropriate here. I'll start:

"Looks like I no longer need to go outside to botanize"

or

"Be sure to wash your hands after playing with Carex"

Minggu, 08 Februari 2009

I don't see the resemblance.


By the way, Lindsay and I were at the Wild Things conference in Chicago yesterday. I briefly talked to Jerry Wilhelm (who asked me to pass his regards to Keith, and to tell Keith to keep up the good work). Jerry said that the new Chicago Region flora will be done in 10 years, unless he can get enough funding, in which case it could be done within 3 years. I have a handout regarding making donations. If you're interested in making a donation to speed up the process, let me know, and I will pass you the information you will need.

Jumat, 06 Februari 2009

Does That Actor Look Like a Botanist?


In checking the news from northwest Indiana (nwi.com) today I couldn't help but notice the familiar face on the actor in the top hat. Isn't that a botanist we all know? The only thing missing is the tin vasculum...and handlens...and camera...and binoculars...and copy of Gleason and Cronquist. Apparently a multi-talented guy! p.s. I do not have Photoshop. That really was the picture on the news site!

Sabtu, 31 Januari 2009

Hundreds Attend Global Warming Protest


The latest email funny to make the rounds. I'm sure most of you have seen it already.

Rabu, 28 Januari 2009

From the mind of Hackelia virginiana...

Marianne sent me this article from The Onion today...



I Have Completed Stage One Of Our Plan To Take Over The World
By Bur #318 January 7, 2009 Issue 45•02

Bur #318 reporting: Primary objectives have been met. Ready Parent Organism Beta 51.2-6 for execution of Stage Two.

I repeat: Stage One of our plan to systematically seize control of the entire planet is complete.

Stage One, Sequence A: I have successfully detached myself from Parent Organism Beta 51.2-6. Strategic placement of Parent Organism Beta 51.2-6 near the edge of Trail 9 resulted in direct fiber contact, which resulted in coerced stem separation, which resulted in total detachment from Parent Organism.

Stage One, Sequence B: I have successfully attached myself to the host sock. As planned, the 100 percent cotton sock proved suitable for my naturally adhesive hooks. In this regard, our calculations were beyond sound—they were flawless. Prior concerns that wind resistance might prematurely dislodge me from the sock were entirely unfounded. The denim pant leg adjacent to the host sock acted as a protective barrier, holding me firmly in place for the duration of the journey.

Stage One, Sequence C: By my best estimate, I have successfully traveled 3.45 miles from Parent Organism Beta 51.2-6. I now sit at a prime vantage point from which to colonize the surrounding hills and meadows. Contact with foreign soil forthcoming.

Dominion over the earth shall soon be ours.

Ready Parent Organism for further seed deployment. I shall proceed forward to Stage Two: random disbursement of our precious bur alleles across a remote location. The production of new parent organisms will initiate the production of new burs, which will initiate the production of new parent organisms, which will initiate the production of new burs, which will initiate the production of new parent organisms, which will initiate the production of new burs.

Burs #2–3,953: Prepare to ward off potential predators with your coarse, inedible exteriors. Let the jaws of neither rabbit, bird, nor deer stand in the way of our collective destiny. Parent Organism Beta 51.2-6 must be allowed to reproduce. In a matter of centuries, the world's fields, weed patches, river basins, and forests will be inundated with our species, thus awarding us total control over every life form on the planet.

Burs #3,954–6,772: Prepare to continue Parent Organism Beta 51.2-6 growth in the direction of the Trail 9 footpath. If, in the event of my demise, another bur should have to complete the Stage One objective, shifting Parent Organism one and one half inches closer to the footpath would increase the odds of direct fiber contact by 46.6 percent.

A mere 7,869,371 stages remain incomplete. I will now commence with the execution of Stage Two, as planned.

Stage Two, Sequence A: Make direct contact with foreign soil. Determining current location....

Current location unknown. I appear to be submerged underneath a large pile of fabric. No soil is visible. I will now attempt to disengage myself from the host sock in an effort to reach the ground. Disengaging now….

Disengaging.

....

I am unable to disengage. Repeat, unable to disengage. I lack the propulsive anatomical structure required for terrestrial locomotion. Alas, I will have to wait until the cotton fibers on the host sock naturally loosen themselves from my tenacious grip. Stage Two and total domination of the planet await. Assuming wait position. Wait position assumed. I am now waiting. Time rewards the patient bur.

Incoming movement detected. Movement approaching quickly. I shall now analyze the movement….

The movement is hostile. I am now entering defensive posture. Hostile contact is imminent. I shall now scan the area for a possible escape route….

Negative! Escape is impossible! Hostile contact imminent! Assuming hiding position! Position failed! Initiating reinforced grip on cotton! Reinforced grip failed! I am now experiencing forced detachment from the host sock! All is lost! Bur #2: Recommence Stage One, Sequence A! Recommence Stage One, Sequence A!

I have failed you all. May future burs learn from my errors and carry on the sacred goal of world domination. Do not give up hope, friends. Victory will one day be yours. Farewell, fellow burs, and long live the Parent Organism!

Long live the—